Raging Winds
by RuthlyMerz
Summary: Edward's last deed before setting off to avenge Bella's death. One-shot.


_**Edward**_

All I ever wanted was her to be happy, and yet it was me who destroyed her happiness. I have never dreamed of hurting her and yet I accomplished my worst nightmare. Now she's gone and my still hurt is aching with some kind of phantom pain.

It was my entire fault. I should have never left her. I should have never brought my family with me away from forks, away from her. I believed that my existence was a curse, that I was a demon, an abandon soul that has been forbidden to ever love. I should have listened to Alice, to Rosalie and to every member of my family; I should have never left Bella.

I remember her crying face in the rain as she begged me not to leave. It tore at my never beating and I had almost given in to embracing her in my arms and telling her that I was never going to leave her. And yet I steeled my heart and believed that what I did was the right thing for her. She deserved to be happy, she deserved someone better, she deserved all the best in life and yet all she wanted was to be with me. She should have never met me. It was I who destroyed her hope, her dreams and her life, and there's nothing that I can do to change reality. I am unable to turn back the clock despite being an immortal and it pains me.

The sky is dark, stormy even, as if it were shedding the forbidden tears that I can never shed. Bella, she was gone and reality struck me hard. I walked over to my piano, the one where I played many medleys for her and I poured kerosene all over it.

Memories come flashing by as I begin playing Bella's favourite lullaby. I remember how clumsy she was when I met her, how she would trip even when there was nothing in front of her, and how she would have pouted at me when I decided to side with Alice to do something that she didn't like. A small smile graces my features as I begin to remember all the wonderful things about her. She was my all, my singer, my purpose and the love of my life. It was because of her that I decided to live once more. Her heart shaped face, doe-like eyes which held just so much love and innocence, and a single tear miraculously leaves me.

As the tune began to progress, I remember how much danger Bella was in when she cut her hand during her birthday and a hissing rumble leaves me. It was I who exposed her to such danger, Jasper could have hurt her and she just bled so much. A throbbing pain begins to bubble up my being. Can anyone blame me for wanting to leave her? I had always known that humans were fragile creatures and I tried my utmost best to ensure that she was safe. I knew that having a human for a mate is risky but all I wanted to do was to love my mate, protect her and to be with her. And yet it was our very existence that threatened her. At this a jumble of note could be heard as I stop my fingers.

It was me who killed her. How stupid was I to have left her. How could I have forgotten that we were not the only vampires around and I still left her unprotected! I should have never left her side, if only I have never suggested leaving forks Bella would still be alive and Victoria would not have gotten her, and we could have had our happily ever after. Oh why did I have to be guided by my whims? A bolt of anger shoots through me at my stupidity and grief washes me over once more as I realize how hopeless and useless I was.

I stood up from my piano and had a last glance at it before letting the lighter fall. As the first few sparks emerge, the memories that I had with Bella also started burning in my heart to be engraved there forever. I stayed until everything was burnt into ashes and took them with me in a little box.

At the cliff where Bella loved, I scattered the ashes of everything that was precious to me and I watched every single particle get swept along with the raging winds, the winds that took away the remains of my humanity. As the deed was done, I stood in the bitter rain for a moment and muttered a little pray for Bella, something that I did not do ever since I was changed, for the first and the last time. I bowed my head for a second before allowing a howl of anguish to drown the rhythm of the rain. Victoria, I would go to the ends of hell to avenge Bella. And the raging winds blew.


End file.
